The Dog Blog: DO NOT BE ALARMED--it's only the sun.

If you, like this vitamin-D-deprived dog blogger, live in the damp splendor of Vancouver, I know you're a little frightened, a little bewildered. There is something - some ominous, cosmic ball of burning gas - in the sky that you haven't seen for the past ten months. It's okay. It's called the SUN. It appears from mid-April to mid-September before returning to send its rays and warmth to other undeserving places like California and, for some reason, Victoria (apparently, they get a lot of sun. Not. Fair). We're going to get through this. The dogs and I know how befuddled you are - how utterly bemused - by the presence of sun, which ushers in spring and summer. We want you to be prepared (civic duty and all that). Read on and learn important things, like (1) DO NOT STARE DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN; and the ever-important (2) DON'T SLEEP ON THE BEACH WITH THE SUN OUT AND FORGET TO PUT ON SUNBLOCK, or you'll look like my lobster-red neighbor, and we all laugh at him.

Dog Blogger #2 out.

***

Lesson 1: Not all dogs can do the doggie-paddle.

I know, they should - but trust me, not ALL cats land on their feet, not all Vancouverites can snowboard (a la Dog Blogger #2) and not all dogs can swim like Phelps. Be like Cody, and don't forget your life preserver-vest-thingy.

***

Lesson 2: With warm weather comes bugs.

Yes, I know 'bugs' aren't a scientific term, but you know what I mean. Creepy-crawlies. Ants. Gnats. BEES. Of course, none of those bees will be as cute as Max, but such is life.

***

Lesson 3: Stockpile frozen treats NOW.

Don't wait 'til it's 30 degrees and you can fry an egg on your car. GO NOW, before the masses panic and prices rise, and fill your house with the dairy delight that is Ben & Jerry's.

***

Lesson 4: Dust off the ol' kite now.

Don't wait 'til the weather is just perfect to start rifling through your closets and basements. Get out the spring gear now. Be prepared. Be alert, people. Perfect weather won't wait for you. YOU ONLY HAVE, LIKE, MAYBE 90 DAYS OF NICE WEATHER. Make 'em all count.

***

Lesson 5: ...Honestly, there is no lesson here. But it's a cute pic of Eva with her purple stuffie.

Seriously. Puppies are so cute.

***

Lesson 6: Join a sports league.

So you were picked last in school. Or you won the "Least-Improved" award every year. Sports leagues nowadays are about imbibing beverages and kicking/hitting/tossing/playing with some sort of ball and making good friends. If Kaia can, you can.

***

Lesson 7: Perfect your suave swimwear look.

Channel your inner Fabio.

***

:Lesson 8: Get some rest.

Yes, there are only some 90 days to be enjoyed, but if you don't take it easy once in awhile, you'll wake up wearing a tutu in a deflated rubber dinghy, covered in tabasco sauce on the beach one day with an unhappy Parks Officer frowning down on you, and really? You don't want to go there. Trust me.

***