A "How-To" Guide, Courtesy of Small Paws' Patrons

The patrons of Small Paws are a worldly, pensive group.

And after our mid-morning discussion on

current affairs (it happens after potty breaks and before tummy rub time),

we realized that such talent

 - such an impressive smorgasbord of knowledge - ought to be shared with the world.

For your edification, dear readers, we've created a "How-To Guide" to broaden your horizons!

Turn off that TV, put that iPhone on silent, grab a glass of Merlot, and enjoy!

***

How To...

Be A Scintillating Dinner Party Guest:

Stay atop of current affairs by reading a paper, like Scooby.

***

How To...

Keep Your Relationship Fresh: 

Charm your partner with a little role-playing, and seduce them with a new look, 

like Beckler. Rowr.

*** 

How To...

Win at Life, Love, and Tug of War:

Get a lovely lass to be on your team!

(Beckler reels in Rose in his game against Hugo)

***

How To...

Recapture Your Youth:

Date a younger man a la Rose,

and her boytoy, Andy ;)

***

How To...

Achieve Victory in the Battle of the Sexes:

Grab your gf, and go for it!

(Rose & Molly get Hugo thinking twice)

***

How To...

Defeat Opponents in Tricky Debates:

If reason fails, use volume. Don't stop talking.

(Umber and Pepe are determined to have their say)

***

How To...

Grab the Attention of the Ladies:

Shout out: "Is that the dog from the Air Bud movies?!"

(It works on Lexy, Mika, Rosie, and Molly)

***

How To...

Have a Bustling Social Life:

Find friends with similar interests

(Right, Zuzu, Beckler, and Hugo?)

***

How To...

Have a Fulfilling Relationship:

Keep your partner on his or her toes ;)

(Andy surprises Rose)

***

How To...

Get What You Want:

Go for it!

(Rose competes against Hugo)

***

How To...

Stand Out In A Crowd:

Stand tall. A name tag also helps.

("I..am..PEPE!")

***

How To...

Mature as a Person:

Take time to enjoy the tender moments in life.

(Shhh..Andy and Rosie are relaxing)

***

How To...

Make New Friends:

(I don't think an explanation is necessary, folks--

Nigel shows us how it's done!)

***

How To...

Prove That You're The Best Daycare with the Best Clients:

***